/lit/ - Literature

How good and/or bad is this ? Probably not good, but this is a writing style that I've never done before and I'm not sure whether to keep exploring it or go back to my comfort zone. Taking the safe option is boring as fuck and I'd rather make myself laugh. Or tamely chuckle, to be more accurate.

>>8484549
That's a bit grandiloquent, but fine prose. I like the reference to Finnegans Wake. I don't understand what you mean by the following statement, though :
>He stayed comfortably numinous to several a benefactor

>>8477148
>crystal clear
Don't use platitudes like that. If you've seen a description somewhere before, then there's no use using that same description in your own writing if it isn't intended as a direct allusion.

>like two orbs of quartz. Her quartzine gaze
That's redundant.

>there is no time to explain. If she wants he can save her, no questions asked, but she must do as he says or she will certainly die.
This is a generic trope and really doesn't need to be repeated. I'll bet quite confidently that this exact sequence of words has been written by someone else in the past, probably numerous times.

>and pitches an ink well through the glass of her window. It breaks on her hand, mixing shards, blood and ink, and she is acutely aware that she is fully awake
I'm pretty sure that if someone did something like this, it would be enough to warrant a psychological examination at the least.

>“Now,” he says, with a showman's proud flourish, “I'm afraid I will have to ask you jump.” Ava obeys his command and leaps into his arms, recalling at the peak of her arc that she lives in a penthouse.
Didn't the Matrix do something like this ?

>>8474780
I didn't know Jack London browses /lit/