/lit/ - Literature

just trying to fix my life and trying not to lose to depressive thoughts.

The idea of me ended up alone and never having a significant other always comes back in my head, and it gives me anxiety.

>i’m 5’4 and have a bad hairline
this would make it hard to find a girl who would love me physically, but there are still women out there
>i have a 3inch dick and phimosis
this would make it hard for a girl to love me intimately. This would make it impossible for me to enjoy any intimacy as well.

I feel like it’s impossible for me to ever find another women who will love me and stay with me. I want to abandon all thoughts of sexuality, but i get horny and just masturbate. I was thinking of just finding a hooker and asking her to take my virginity but i’m embarassed of my penis size and disfunction. I’m the definition of an incel, but i don’t spend my time online arguing about women not wanting to have sex with me because i’ve never tried, yet, i believe they wouldn’t.

I remember one girl back in highschool got pretty close with me (she was the only girl in life i ever regularily conversed with and we sort of liked each other). She ended up asking me to prom, but i said no because i was scared and had too much social anxiety about my looks and how people perceive me to even go. She didn’t get upset. I didn’t have many friends growing up and never went to a party or out to hang out with friends, so i just adopted the idea that drugs and parties were a waste of time. It makes me sad because she was cheerful and cute.

I don’t even feel like an adult and i’m 20. My friends all have internships and are finishing college, and i had to take time off because i was failing too much courses and was making the excuse that i had to deal with my diagnoses of adhd