/lit/ - Literature

>>14861973
Imagine you're Geralt, you've tracked down some monster the locals want gone to some stinky swamp. The guy who prepared your food at the village tavern you ate at had something and of course never washes his hands. So there you are on your horse in the middle of a monster infested swamp and your bowels move to expunge their entire contents in your clothes. You decide it's untenable to continue riding and jump off your horse and drop your pants. Just as you're about to unleash a torrent of waste a critter jumps out of its hiding place below you, snarls and strikes out. You scream, lose your balance while farting and shitting, falling over, scaring your horse enough that it runs away. The vaguely mongoloid mutant of a creature wrestles with you as you madly try to reach for your sword and it too screams. The small hunched monster gets a face full of your shit smeared ass during your struggle and pukes all over you before you finally manage to get out your sword and behead it.

I'm not sure the life of a Witcher would really be that dull, but it's not something I'd want.