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>> No.7106184 [View]
File: 54 KB, 500x753, 1429913282132.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7106184

Anyone able to feedback this? It's unfinished.
It was written as a prologue to what I guess will become a sci-fi story. I'll take critique on any aspect: is it lacking in descriptive writing, does it garner any interest for the story, is it cliched, is it shit, etc

In case the image is hard to read:
http://pastebin.com/t55UvsNX

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