/lit/ - Literature

>be humanitiesfag
>constantly encounter the outer fringes of math in a hundred different branches of philosophy, from analytics to metaphysics
>be amazed by the mystic potential of math being the language of reality itself
>be slightly in awe of STEMfags and assume they tap into this majesty through hard work, and humanitiesfags like me are missing out
>start learning math
>it's tough as fuck
>get to the point where i can just barely understand higher order college level stuff
>eagerly start talking to esteemed, visionary, world-famous mathematicians at my university
>mfw i realize they are all complete, intuitive materialists in their outlook
>mfw they don't grasp an iota of the mystical or metaphysical aspects of higher math
>mfw they don't even really understand what the concreteness of mathematical laws implies, and spend most of their time playing at meaningless quantitative number puzzles
>mfw even professional scientists are childlike retards who are genuinely content with puerile, reductionist accounts of the nature of reality
>mfw the vast majority of high level STEM people are ignorant of other branches of their own field, let alone other fields or disciplines altogether
>mfw even the luminaries of STEM are the biggest reservoir of literally autistic toy collectors in the world
>mfw trying to experience an ounce of majesty is impossible around these eternally plebeian tolstoyan foxes
>mfw the vast majority are just average dumb normalfags aside from their single hyper-focused academic specialty
>mfw they don't read books (like, at all)
>mfw phds in theoretical physics have the exact same political opinions as your dumbass uncle who works at the olive garden
>mfw it is actually staggering how dumb they are in every single respect other than knowing one specific kind of math really well
>mfw disillusioned
>mfw realizing after all that work that math isn't even the language of reality but a closed and self-referential puzzlebox for autistic fucking faggots