/lit/ - Literature

I can't stand my grad anymore. I do letters and linguistics grad but I can't do it no more. I don't know if it's the course's problem or me vs university. Everytime I have to do something minimal for the course I have the sudden urge to die, to perfurate my both eyes with a knife and never having to deal with all this circlejerk bullshit anymore. I feel like I'm useless, that my course is useless, that I'm losing my time. I don't care about the course's subjects, problems, etc, I don't care about any of this bullshit, I just chose this course because it was easy to enter and I like reading, better saying, I LIKED reading, because I feel so constantly sad and suicidal that I can't even read anymore, only during vacations that I forget that my course exists. At the same time, I like an extreme fear of dying of hunger or becoming an eternal-money-sufferer. I don't see myself being a teacher, I don't see myself progressing in my academic life because everything about it makes me wanna die. I feel like I'm too old to give up and restart my life (22) because I have many friends already finishing their grads, while I'm in the middle of it and wanting to die so I don't have to complete the other half of the course.
I just want to become happy again. My life is all good besides that. I feel imense pressure.
I had dreams, I had hope, everything ended since my grad, I just feel sad and hopeless.

What should I do? Besides searching for therapy
Have you gone through something like this?