/lit/ - Literature

>>17676062
>On the opening lines
I agree. There was actually a lot more like it that I got rid of. This was one that just stuck.
>Tightening the narrative
I focused a lot on this. It was originally 3300+ words. Some things slip through. Thanks for pointing this out.
>Is this something she had to do before she came to Yuerriesaf, or something she is willing to do in exchange for the presumed safety which Yeurriesaf offered her?
That's a good question. I tried to keep some aspects of the narrative ambiguous/open-ended, so if you're asking this then I think I hit the mark.
>Naming Yuerriesaf
lol, you're right. I hit my keyboard randomly and stuck with what I got. There's no basis or meaning. If I continue (which I don't), then I might change it to something simple.
>minor issues but a solid foundation
Thanks.
>refrain from any further writing
Fuck you.