/lit/ - Literature

>>16310995
Ahaha, I like it. I like your humor, especially when he was questioning random fat chicks. You did well with putting the reader in his mind, too. One constructive criticism though that I gotta say because I noticed it in both posts, is to remember it's "must have'', not ''must of''. A lot of people do that, but it's easy to fix that habit.


>>16311180
''Why don't they just leave me alone?'' I thought to myself. I was so close.

And there it was.

Right there.

The fryer.

The fryer was the only way.

The fryer would purify me, both body and soul.

''He's in the kitchen!'' I heard the hostess scream from beyond the doors, but it was too late.

I approached the fryer like a Christian would if they knew they stood before the grave of Christ. I bent down and took a deep breath.

And then I shoved my fucking arms into it.

''Ahhhhrhhhhghhhhhhhhh FUUUUUUUUUCK!!!'' I released a guttural scream that was laced with divine ecstacy.

I pulled them out, and through the numb ringing in my ears, I could hear someone yell ''GET ON THE FUCKING FLOOR YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" I turned my head to see two cops with guns drawn on me. I smiled at them and turned back to the altar filled with boiling canola oil.

This was it. There was no going back. Remnants from the skin on my arms boiling below me sounded like an angelic choir, welcoming me back home to the holy land.

I took a breath. And then I rapidly breathed in and out as if to make myself hyperventilate, and at last I inhaled and held my breath.

Without skipping a beat, I thrust my head into the abyss. I momentarily saw light as I felt someone pulling me out, but those goddamned filthy fucking vermin were too late.

I was born again as the personification of purity, and nobody could ever take that from me.