/lit/ - Literature

>>21886945
Thank you. That's very clear feedback. I like this thread (my first time here).

I'm quite 'repetitive-sentence-pilled' due to my love of Steinbeck. I've removed the second comma at the place where I used now twice so that it matches perfectly, but I like using now twice. Will review again later and try to keep it an ego free experience. Cheers.

PS: This is a webnovel and I forced myself to crank it out at 2k a day so I could see if I could hit quality and quantity and the project be valid. I can't spend time mothering this prose like I would an actual novel.

Dumping next few paras as I'm posting anyway