/lit/ - Literature

>>10853172
Are you talking about this post >>10851306 I read it and it wasn't interesting.
This sentence >>10853122 is pretty good. I don't see the issue, nor the reason why you're sperging.

>>10659338
>>10659442
Here's what I've changed with fresh morning eyes. What's better and what's worse? These two are different versions for comparison.
>>10657622
>>10659217

From whence the blue of her eyes came,
Which leaves the seas with wroth and shame?
Those fair soul-panes stained with kobold,
That my love does unmatchéd hold,
Evade all bids to solve with wits,
The source of hue that in her sits.
There is no stone or jewel I know,
Not even rarest sapphire’s glow,
Nor, topaz, lapis, fluorspar,
To be as bright as her gems are.
The highest grade is those rich stones,
To which I pen my praise and moans.
In pure springs not her color lies,
Nor does it hail from the skies,
Instead, inversely, seems they art
Composed of paints which from her start.
So Nature’s plumes and butterflies
Should have been crafted of her eyes,
And every dye that’s ever been,
As well as all raw pigments seen,
Does cause me insult to compare
Them to my lover’s crystal stare.