/lit/ - Literature

>>14027531
I just go around thinking 'nigger' nonstop and sometimes I'll imagine anime girls saying 'nigger' back and forth between each other I don't even know why or how it started but it's pretty much all I think now. I mean, say I'm just sitting in a chair and to all appearances I'm just looking around like normal but in my head I'm just consciously repeating the word 'nigger nigger nigger' in a monotone, steady pace.

If my mother asks me to help her unload the dishwater I'll say, "sure" but I'll be thinking 'nigger' and as I'm putting the spoons away I'm aware of putting the spoons away but it's constantly just 'nigger' as I look at the spoons and 'nigger' as I close the drawer and 'nigger' as I open the refrigerator to get a glass of milk.

The anime girl thing is actually how I've decided to deal with all of existence even if they aren't saying nigger but like if I'm reading something (still thinking 'nigger' all the while as I read the words that aren't 'nigger' on the page) I'll imagine all of the characters as cute anime girls. So Raskolnikov, for instance, is an anime girl in my head. And Dante's Beatrice is an anime girl and Dante himself. Yeah I guess even historical figures like Plato or Augustine I imagine as anime girls as I'm reading their works.

But when I'm not reading it's just 'nigger' and sometimes two imagined anime girls saying 'nigger' back and forth between one another in my mind.

Even as I was typing all of this the thought 'nigger' never reached surcease.