/lit/ - Literature

>>20027501
Through a one-way window we see a small blank room with a table in the center, a man sitting on the other end humping his leg, and the backs of two police officers standing on our side, parted so that all three men are in view. The impatient man in the middle gestures wearily as he says,
>Officers, please. Can we make this quick? I've already been through a lot today and-
>We understand, sir, we don't want much of your time, we just want to know your side of the story. Let's start from the beginning.
One officer takes out a notepad, the other gives a sidelong glance to the other, and the middleman goes,
>Thank you. Now. Let's get all the facts straight. Here I was, here's this giant red and black gravelly log of shit just about EXPLODING, out of my asshole anxiously like, a ring on a bride's finger I mean, I mean I promise you the last thing I ever wanted to do was make eye contact with anybody. So here I was this shit just, and the sounds I'm making... have you ever seen a sword swallowing accident? Well anyway, I've been up for 24 hours at this point, how many pizzas, how many energy drinks, I mean my face was beet red. Sitting in this fucking, I don't know what it is. I just wanted to take a shit, man. I'm not going to read INSTRUCTIONS to take a SHIT! So you know, I'm at the park in those stalls with the special glass, was walking home from, that corner store, down at, the corner of College and, whatever, got my jerky and Monster and I start getting the bubble guts. So-
>Sir, can we just cut to the... ?
>Yeah, yeah, but I thought you'd want to know where my head was at, whatever, so here's this shit, turns out, didn't lock the door. I live alone, it's a habit, sue me. But I mean that shouldn't be an issue, I mean you could hear me yelling a mile away I mean I'm not here for a noise complaint, am I? A man's got a right to yell while he's taking a shit. And one like this, an inevitability, a medical situation. Next time I'll bring a stick to bite down on, how about that. So I forget to lock the door, so what, and this is one of those new, if you don't lock the door then the glass doesn't cloud, it's stays see-through! How was I supposed to know?
>Well if it's see through, you can see through it...
The man points between the cops, in our direction as he shouts,
>I THOUGHT IT WAS ONE-WAY! SUE ME!
>But all witness reports claim you were staring the kid straight in the eyes with your mouth wide-
>AS I SAID! As I said, okay? As I said, gravelly log of shit barrelling out of my asshole. I was feeling a lot of things. Pain, pleasure,
>But you had a boner-
>OH MY-, that's WHAT I'm SAYING! GOD it's like none of you've never taken a SHIT before! Look. Guilt, joy, pain, pleasure, I'm not seeing what's right in front of me. My mind is deep in my ass, it's voyaging... I can feel every... serrated... Mary Magdalene could've been there I wouldn't've-
>But you were, cumming...
>Look, I'm not gonna argue with you any longer about this.
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