/lit/ - Literature

Why can't I manage to get hard for smart girls that I actually like ? Everytime I started to get closer to a girl that I actually liked, who shared my tastes, with who I could have profund and interesting talks, I always add the same problem : no sexual desire at all. I can't manage to sexualize them because I can't manage to deshumanize them, to be rough, to call them good little sluts, all those kind of things. So I end up taking boner pills and pretending to like having sex with them because I don't want to make them sad and I actually like their company outside of sex.

I only had great sex with normie women, with simple taste, a little dumb, a little naive. Then, yes, everything is fine. I can manage to have great sex, play the daddy with them, be brutal and enjoying it. But that's all because outside of sex I can't feel no connection with them at all.

Well I know the psychological duality behind it, the fantasy of purity, the impossibility to want to to 'defile' someone you estime, but what should I do ? Like either I am with a women who I feel close to and eventually the relation broke up because the sex aspect of the relationship is bad, and the girl start to understand sooner or later that I'm not sexually into her. Either I'm with a girl that I can fuck, have pleasure doing it and making her have pleasure too, but it's fucking all, because we can't relate to anything except sex.

Did some anons here suffer from the same problems and manage to overcome it ? How ?