/lit/ - Literature

I'm 18 years old, going on 19, and tend to prefer girls about my own age but I've been thinking about my boss lately...she's just shaped so nice...she dresses pretty conservatively but she wears skirts so I can see her legs, and I'll tell you, I never really understood why people in old movies cared so much about the "gams" on a girl before, but, hell, I do now.
Anyway, I've only been working for a couple of days (actually this is my first job) so she's mostly been training me so far.
I don't know how old she is (30? 40?) but for some reason she has that stupid vocal fry thing, and normally this would turn me off but it's actually very soft (whereas most fries tend to make the voice sound coarse) and it actually kind of makes her seem more youthful and relatable to me, like we're equals.
She's shorter than me too (almost normal height for a woman though, I'm just pretty tall), so I like standing very close to her and almost surrounding her. I do this so that she can feel my urge radiating from me and so that maybe her heart could yield to me. I know this is stupid but it feels good whenever I'm doing it and I can only imagine how it makes her feel (I hope it makes her blush).
Btw, I know this may sound like a workplace harassment complaint waiting to happen but no, I know what I'm doing, I understand and respect boundaries so I don't have to worry about something like that and most of this stuff is mental anyway.
Anyway, her face was honestly pretty disappointing to look at last time I saw it, if I recall correctly, but we always have our masks on and I have poor vision so maybe I was mistaken (doubt it), I sort of don't care either way for some reason because she's just so nice. I also noticed greying hair on her head (is this a good thing or a bad thing for a woman's urges? idk). She also has a husband and kids.
Now let me just say that I would never do something as despicable as engaging in homewrecking but I can't stop wondering if I might just tempt her? What if I was the one to tempt her? I want to be the one to tempt her. Am I the devil? What the fuck is wrong with me? I've never had a gf before btw (no, I'm not especially ugly, it's just that the only people who were ever interested in me were not attractive at all and I never hung around a lot of people for some reason).

>have severe speech impediments
>often get blocks and can’t utter a single word
>started hanging out with friends in June 2020
>for the first time in my life, at 25, everything was good
>somehow I wasn’t blocking anymore
>got really close to two people in particular
>speech improved with each day
>would have long conversations about all kinds of stuff
>because of the pandemic couldn’t meet them for a few months
>met them a few days ago
>all my progress is lost
>blocking like crazy again
>could see how awkward it was for my friend
>every time they’d try to make conversation I’d block and fall silent
>not going to meet them anymore