/lit/ - Literature

>>8830151
One afternoon, about halfway up a jagged, limestone spiked hill, I encountered an old man with a dong.

They were going the opposite way and so I stood off the path to let them pass. The dong, preceding its owner, just stopped a few feet short of me and proceeded to swell.

It wasn't an extraordinary looking dong, just dusty brown with floppy skin and a wet, black head.

'I think he likes you,' said the old man as he caught up with his dong, 'usually he blows on past most people. Doesn't pay them any mind.'

I nodded, keeping a careful eye on the dong. It didn't look like it wanted to attack me... But there was something about that steady gaze, its unblinking yellow eye.

Wasn't staring supposed to be a sign of aggression in dongs? I couldn't quite remember.

'Oh.' I said.

'You can pet him if you'd like,' the old man continued, 'he doesn't bite.'

'Not usually,' agreed the dong, 'unless you want me to.'

I made a formless, vowelled noise in my throat but stayed right where I was. My limbs didn't seem to want to move.

'Do you want me to bite you?' The dong asked, and managed something reminiscent of a smile. Its teeth were small and razorous.

'No thank you.' I croaked, and force myself to turn and stump, stiff legged and panicky, back down the hill.

When I looked back up after a few paces neither the old man or his dong were anywhere in sight.

>>7848469

Preposition Ratio: 11.11 % ← Good, esp. considering the length.

Probable Zombie Nouns [turn them back into verbs]:
'celebration', 'documentation', 'explosion', 'commotion', 'inclination', 'constellation', 'identification', 'desperation', 'fortification', 'manifestation', 'preservation', 'premonition', 'concentration', 'conviction', 'affliction', 'instruction', 'rotation', 'intersection', 'composition', 'equation', 'detention', 'attention', 'Action', 'injection', 'condition', 'duration', 'revelation', 'invention', 'teleportation', 'situation', 'creation', 'location', 'decoration', 'illusion', 'designation', 'declaration', 'inspiration', 'intention', 'elimination', 'promotion', 'question', 'intuition', 'alienation', 'version', 'operation', 'salutation', 'trillion', 'distraction', 'solution', 'protection', 'sensation', 'inspection', 'presentation', 'position', 'fraction', 'succession', 'reflection', 'vision', 'occupation', 'imagination', 'adoration', 'acceleration', 'station', 'possession', 'confusion', 'reception', 'hesitation', 'starvation', 'preparation', 'direction', 'Defamation', 'plantation', 'frustration', 'anticipation', 'incision', 'destination', 'perception', 'million', 'satisfaction', 'emotion', 'generation', 'reaction', 'projection', 'education', 'motivation', 'aggravation', 'mention', 'transmission', 'decision', 'demonstration', 'Transmission', 'cushion', 'opinion', 'permission', 'section', 'stipulation', 'connection', 'definition', 'explanation', 'billion', 'companion', 'addition', 'information', 'fusion', 'fabrication', 'destruction', 'function', 'notion', 'COMMOTION', 'apprehension', 'formation', 'perversion', 'mansion', 'infestation', 'production', 'action', 'authorization', 'correction', 'suggestion', 'MILLION', 'description', 'determination', 'session', 'elation', 'introduction', 'deduction', 'obsession', 'examination', 'expression', 'contraption', 'partition', 'compensation', 'transportation', 'communication', 'option', 'motion', 'conversation', 'security', 'authority', 'commodity', 'curiosity', 'depravity', 'inability', 'vitality', 'city', 'deity', 'Quality', 'infinity', 'capacity', 'ability', 'Gravity', 'impossibility', 'reality', 'facility', 'activity', 'electricity', 'personality', 'possibility', 'City', 'opportunity', 'immunity', 'serenity', 'sanity', 'prosperity', 'responsibility', 'Security', 'entity', 'sterility', 'publicity', 'gravity', 'clarity', 'nism', 'mechanism', 'electromagnetism', 'skepticism'

Lexical Diversity: 6.46 %

Content Carrying Words: 56.63 %

Personal Vocab Diversity: 12.22 %

Get a thesaurus!

Longest Words [pretty obnoxious]: 'Exxxxxcellllennt', 'counterproductive', 'electromagnetism', 'hyperventilating', 'indistinguishable', 'overenthusiastically'

I'm not going to actually read it :^)

>>7490257
>>7489959
Your jealousy is palpable. Or you didn't read it, fuckface. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA