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/lit/ - Literature

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>> No.20710223 [View]
File: 96 KB, 1488x782, cringe1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20710223

I posted this late last thread (see my seething above lmao) so I'm re-re-reposting it here so more people can read and help me fix it. Already considered tips are

>> No.20709878 [View]
File: 96 KB, 1488x782, cringe1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20709878

Here is my piece from the previous thread, with some new additions and much of the advice given acted on. Please give me your thoughts, anons.

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