/lit/ - Literature

>>11157251
>like the boddhisatva path of most Mayana schools
*Mahayana

If I don't make any sense, please ask me to clarify what was misunderstood.
How does action come about? What are its causes and conditions? How does every kind of action (body, speech, mind, consciousness) interact with each other? Are there any other kind of actions? Is there a hierarchy? Can they influence each other and change? How do I change myself (mainly my instincts) to be more like my goals? It's not about what's reasonable and what's not reasonable; I became skeptic of reason a lot of time ago [what now seems a lot of time].
Today a woman fell in front of me while boarding the train; the city's subway is a jungle, I tell you. I think she had some kind of degenerative disease. Her body was disproportionate and small, her high heels seemed too big on her and she was wearing sunglasses.
She fell twice in a row. First with the initial punch of the mob trying to get into the train and then while trying to stand up. Why didn't I rush to help her? She was 2 steps away and I wasn't in a rush at all. Of course the people immediately next to her helped, but why didn't I?
I kept my distance from the mob and went deep into my thoughts. I knew I felt compassion for her, I was the same as her.
She got down in the same station than me. She was limping in a really painful way. I directed my thoughts, honestly and humbly, to her pain and wished for her well-being.
I wasn't regretful that I didn't help her (I try not to keep regrets, to not cling to the past), I was just surprised by my inability to act (in bodily form and in speech). I felt compassion but didn't do anything about it.
Is it a gradual training? It's been a while like this, not being able to act; I'm losing hope (effort is hard for me to build).