/lit/ - Literature

>>16146703
...Can I see it?

>>14157490
>>14157511
>this clearing.
Which is also the hilly little area, judging by "this"?

>The valley that I am in
Which is also the hilly little area, as well as a clearing, from which you can see multiple forests? But it's a valley?

>when he offers it I see that I could never be able to consume it, although I am unsure why.
I'm not seeing much here but I'll take your word for it. Also, this is dinnertime? Night? But he can see far enough to observe multiple forests?

>greyish skies,
Wasn't it night? You mentioned a sleeping bag, people eating what was presumably dinner, etc. If the change is deliberate it's very abrupt.

>a light drizzle begins on the grass.
Is that where it began? Usually when I see the word "drizzle" it refers to the rain from the clouds down. Say that it hits the grass, not that it begins there.

>It is a beacon, it is a citadel, it seems to be heaven.
Not seeing it that way. I feel like you're just telling me it's heaven. The light stands out from the windy setting, but heaven is a setting in its own right, and a strong one at that. I don't feel like you had space for it.

>As I try to clamber my way up this hill it begins to stretch away from me in vile tears,
This is an excellent exaggeration of the rain running down the hill.

> it begins echo away from the flat ground where I once was
This not so much.

>the words only fade to the skies of calm grey.
I'm not sure what "only" is doing here.

>a bed that has it’s innumerable arms
its

>>14157490
>>14157511
>this clearing.
Which is also the hilly little area, judging by "this"?

>The valley that I am in
Which is also the hilly little area, as well as a clearing, from which you can see multiple forests? But it's a valley?

>when he offers it I see that I could never be able to consume it, although I am unsure why.
I'm not seeing much here but I'll take yiur word for it. Also, this is dinnertime? Night? But he can see far enough to observe multiple forests?

>greyish skies,
Wasn't it night? You mentioned a sleeping bag, people eating what was presumably dinner, etc. If the change is deliberate it's very abrupt.

>a light drizzle begins on the grass.
Is that where it began? Usually when I see the word "drizzle" it refers to the rain from the clouds down. Say that it hits the grass.

>It is a beacon, it is a citadel, it seems to be heaven.
Not seeing it that way. I feel like you're just telling me it's heaven. The light stands out from the windy setting, but heaven is a setting in its own right, and a strong one at that.

>As I try to clamber my way up this hill it begins to stretch away from me in vile tears,
This is an excellent exaggeration of the rain running down the hill.

> it begins echo away from the flat ground where I once was
This not so much.

>the words only fade to the skies of calm grey.
I'm not sure what "only" is doing here.

>a bed that has it’s innumerable arms
its