/lit/ - Literature

>>19726632
>when the sentence finally clicks
no better feeling

>>14663315
>tfw my mom is distressed at my lack of ambition
>she will never understand this blessed security guard feel

Sorry guys, I don't read books any more.

I'm going to spend my free time watching Youtube videos, exercising and posting on imageboards now.

>>12556940
>Everything went from bad to worse
>Money never changed a thing
>Death kept following, tracking us down
>At least I heard the bluebird sing
>Now somebody's got show their hand
>Time is an enemy
>I know you're long gone
>I guess it must be up to me

I took the best fucking shit of my life today. I woke up at about 12, so I decided to skip breakfast and go straight to lunch, except I wasn't that hungry so I got some roasted salted peanuts to snack on. I don't know how, but I ended up eating 500g of peanuts in one sitting (I'm bulking though so it's not too bad, good macro balance).

I felt bloated straight after so I lied down on the sofa and watched some powerlifting comp videos. Got bored and took my dog on a walk. We were walking for about fifteen minutes and my stomach started to fucking shake. I literally ran home dragging my poor pooch behind me on the leash, when I sat on the toilet my sphincter made that sputtering sound like a deflating balloon. I was on the toilet for about ten minutes because every time I got up to wipe my ass I felt the urge to sit down again and, lo, behold, more shit came out, and it was that soft, easygoing shit like mashed potato with tapered ends on each end of the log. The smell in the bathroom was fucking terrible, but my brain associated it with intense relief, so I didn't open any windows or anything, just sat in my own filth like I was coming down from an orgasm after two weeks of NoFap. I used half a roll of toilet paper to wipe my ass and I had to stop myself so many times from the urge to pick up my turd and fondle it out of disgusting curiosity.

>>11505415

So let's fast forward a bit. Things have kind of gone to shit. The magic is gone (for her it seems) and she broke up with me after a fight just a few days ago. It was all because of something really stupid and minor, in fact I don't even quite remember what started it. I think it was something related to me asking her if she remembered to bring a charger (which she actually didn't remember) and then flipping out on me "for being condescending" or something. I mean, things have been a bit sour for her for months in all honestly. Like she just seems really pissed about me when I haven't done anything and then refusing to acknowledge that she's being moody. Well I sent her a text asking her if she can afford tuition for the spring semester and she (of course) flipped the fuck out. She apparently was under the impression that I would keep paying even after breaking up. She told me that I'm a horrible person for even considering such a thing. Then the next day on snap chat she had a public picture of her kissing this black frisbee athlete (I'm not racist, but I'm mentioning that he was black because she told me at least twice that she would never date a black guy). I didn't even know what to think. Then I texted her and pleaded how she could do that to me. She didn't reply, but then I got a call from her some time later. I immediately picked up, but it wasn't her voice. It was some man telling me that he wouldn't file charges for the assault I committed as long as I don't force my ex to drop out of college and pay the tuition I promised to pay.

>continued

>>10321956
>tfw it was actually a /polit/ brainlet
>tfw still to dumb for actual /lit/

>tfw you realize all the time wasted on this board was not in vain
>tfw you realize nothing will ever surpass this shining paragon of peak /lit/ performance

I bought several books but I lack motivation to read anyone of them. Help?

>>7422100
>you get to read what you want and have all the time in the world to do it

Take out the other inmates or put me in a low security prison and it probably wouldn't even be a punishment. Sounds pretty good actually tbqh.

>not already being a welfare NEET (if you aren't rich)

There's the idle life already. Feels good man.

>>6083992
>tfw made it on to the cover

might have to buy it if this the final version now