/lit/ - Literature

What are some books to help me achieve excellency? I've read Sun and steel and that got me into MMA and working out more. I've also read Stoner and Mediations to help me deal with the unsavoury characters in my life. But I'm still surrounded by hedonism and wish to live a simple life without longing as I still wade into consuming pornography, jerking off and doing drugs once in a while.

>High school years
>Read pleb genre fiction
>Enjoy life
>Look forward to my future
>Believe in Christianity
>Have many friends
>Want to study STEM

>Start browsing /lit/
>Start reading more literature
>Start looking at philosophy
>Lose my faith entirely
>Become more nihilistic
>Have bouts of depression
>Become cynical, bitter, and live in a constant existential crisis
>Want to study literature and philosophy

I'm 18. My life has only just begun. What is life? Does it get better? I feel too young to lose meaning already ;_;

help