/lit/ - Literature

>>16486638
>>16486668
Internal Issue, a tabloid X-Droid app and tv show on Old Channel 13, ran this story on VITO on May 5th, 2040 AD:
[A computer generated neon-haired talking head appears.]
“In his pre-Sublimated mortal form, VITO was a genderqueer animal rights activist and veterinary technician originally named Charles Leuker. “
[A photograph of a pink haired nerdy young man is shown on the screen.]
“When he won the Sublime Prize on Templ,”
[images from ‘Sublimation Time’ and the UR Syndicate]
“his intention was to become the protector god of all vertebrate animals. After becoming a god, He realized that vast sets of knowledge did not automatically come with new Divine status."
[Sad picture of VITO.]
“VITO soon gave up on being that kind of protector god and just kind of wandered around for a while, showing up at the random animal rights protest."
[A different computer-generated talking head appears with the video depicting the following appearing in its huge eyes.]
“One day, while VITO was at a halal slaughterhouse protest event, one of His fellow protestor’s bulldog dropped dead. The dead dog’s owner cried “Frankie, no!” VITO then went over and placed His hands on the dead dog and looked up at its owner and said He wished He could bring Frankie the bulldog back but....... Amazingly, Frankie just got right back up, drooling a little. After that, VITO started making a living raising people and their pets from the grave.”
[More neon haired talking heads appear in the eyes of the largest talking head.]
“A few weeks after this VITO set up shop on 24th and Cyprus,”
[Image of dilapidated buildings that are on that corner appear in the eyes of the talking head]
“raising the dead based on His client’s income, usually around $300. Almost immediately, the Palladins of GAIAN declared Holy War on the Recently Deceased, basically committing genocide on the two-legged but leaving the Raised pets alone. You might remember #DestroyTheAbominations, the social media campaign started by GAIAN and his minions on Templ.”
[The talking heads look angry.]
“VITO posted on Templ that He needed some pro bono legal work done. A few big shot lawyers decided to work with VITO, taking their case to the UNA and successfully got the Recently Deceased designated a Protected Class. Most of the Palladins of GAIAN are in prison now on hate crime murder charges.”
[The talking heads hold up a finger in a pedantic ‘did you know’ manner.]
“Note: Recently Deceased is no longer the preferred nomenclature. Those who have been Raised from the dead by VITO are now known simply as the Ris. You better respect theEverything he said is right.ir pronouns too, because if you get caught calling the Ris ‘zombies’ or ‘undead’ online you’re liable to get slapped with a hate crime verbal assault charge enforced by LEOG himself!”