/lit/ - Literature

i'm finally getting my own life together and now whenever i talk to my gf it ends in a fight. she stayed and helped me and supported me for so long when i was so fucking depressed and anxious and paranoid and suicidal. i feel like i just can't talk to her. everything i say is inflammatory, she gets caught up in the aesthetic of the words that she doesn't see the meaning. i can't talk plainly or directly anymore, she doesn't challenge me intellectually like she used to, only emotionally. and she still helps, she sends me books, asks me how my day was, texts and calls me first. and this is the first night that i'm just too fucking tired to play the game and apologize and explain myself to her. i shouldn't have to fucking explain myself to her. she knows me. does she know me? am i keeping her out? i've been honest, not cheated or been deceitful. i couldn't cheat and i never did. feels like i'm just not understood. this is happening more, again, as i leave my cave and interact with the ludi plebeii of las vegas, they laugh at my jokes but after 5 minutes they know something is wrong with me. fucking dentist tried to get $3800 for a fucking root canal and a filler. insane shit. i need to go back to school and get the student health insurance, at least it covers dental.