/lit/ - Literature

>>7835686
Dostoyevsky: first he shows you that he understands the nihilistic, misanthropic person's mind, then he shows you the way out.


>Basically I need to re-delude myself into believing anything I do matters and that I'm lucky to be alive.

You don't have to. You could, if you like, believe in God literally, but you don't have to. The idea of God in your mind can be strong enough that you don't care if God is not real.

You can accept the truth, which is that we can't know if God is real, and still be affected by him. No delusions. You make your own reason for existing and you live purely for the fulfillment that you get.

There is a feeling you get that can't be conveyed in a few lines. Read The Death of Ivan Ilyich by Tolstoy and then go read some Dostoyevsky.

If you don't feel something after The Death of Ivan Ilyich then you also probably didn't understand the end, it is not a hard read though.

>>7758901