/lit/ - Literature

It's hard to admit that I can't control my drinking, that having a sniff of the stuff would just make me crave more and more, when society expects I should be able to enjoy one or two. Simple induction really: I have more than enough examples throughout the years. Can't remember the last time I drank with positive (or neutral) consequences. I blame myself for poor discipline when I could just admit (or fool myself to believe) that it's a chemical reaction bound to happen - not my fault as such - the only fault would be having the first drink, as being of sound mind, I can predict that the results would be dreadful. I avoid the discussion whether it's a disease or not altogether. I don't bloody know. Like I don't know what the nature of transsexuality is. It probably matters but I'm oblivious and can't regard others as much wiser. For some it's the cause, for others the symptom. As with my mental issues and the drink - which came first? But what is dipsomanic addiction? I can manage months sober and physical withdrawal is a matter of days, weeks, top. I've overcome benzo withdrawal and known enough opiate addicts so I see a difference. If I couldn't stop daily drinking, I'd check into rehab, but like I said there's no withdrawal so what can I be rehabitated from - repeated self-destructive behavioral patterns? Sounds like loads and loads of fun.