/lit/ - Literature

getting older as a weird autistic person that can't really get along with non-autistic people and also as somebody who hates autistic people and also as someone who's brain is rotten from the internet ive sort of been considering taking a shit ton of psychadelics and seeing how it changes my personality. i know it's a terrible idea but at this point i can't interact with anybody and i can't understand fucking anything and i don't understand comedy or other normal things. i want to be normal but i know i can't. maybe if i totally flush my brain with something i will change my worldview or i will change as a person and maybe i can gain the ability to act normal. i dont know at this point. it's like i have brain damage in the specific areas relating to anything that has to do with communicating and understanding people but for whatever reason the parts of my brain that are responsible for being self-aware are unfazed. i sort of feel like a psychological frankenstein monster. i dont want to be me anymore. i don't care. i want to wipe the slate clean. what thing should i try to wipe my brain? sorry i dont mean to make it feel like r9k in here i just need to fucking type this somewhere