/lit/ - Literature

>>20062833
I stopped reading the idiot 5 pages in because I was already confused who was speaking and whose name belonged to what.
Guess I was the idiot the whole time

Why do I have such a low self worth of myself? I simply cannot fathom the idea that anybody would be attracted to or want to spend time with me when they could be doing anything else. Even if I end up obviously attracting somebody I tell myself I only tricked them somehow and I'll be exposed very soon. This also goes for friendly relations, I cannot accept that anybody would seriously want to be my friend. I feel like an inferior and pathetic being below everybody. When people see me I assume they see me with distaste, if they are nice it is because they have pity or just politeness
I have had people tell me I am attractive and handsome. I have had friends before. I think myself an interesting person and decent conversationalist. I have good hygiene and dress well. I am a student at a good university. I am reasonably intelligent. But why does all of this disappear the second I'm actually in the moment? Why do I hate myself?