/lit/ - Literature

How do you deal with the fact that you thought you were smart, and that in your discussions with people they tell you that you are a genius, but really you are just a stupid person who was slightly clever (not the same thing as intelligent) and this confused those who actually are intelligent to think that you are highly intelligent, even more so than they are?

I wanted to write books and essays, to tell the world my stories and ideas, but I just realized that they're all useless and even if utility doesn't factor into it none are even entertaining, unique, or informative, at least beyond anything any other has said to the world.

I want very badly to die now because I know I will never write a word that will make anyone weep, or laugh, or think, that I've only gotten by this far by subconsciously constructing a ruse of intelligence by manipulation and clever calculation of others' responses to certain actions and words.

Everything I have read and written is meaningless now. I just want to go crawl into a hole until I shrivel into the nothingness which waits inside of me to rear its ugly head in my abhorrent first book which will showcase my stupidity to anyone who reads it.