/lit/ - Literature

Virgil's!
Duh!

Alright, fellows. I'm writing a book mostly as a joke, but I still want to do it legitimately. The book is going to be in the same style as that Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter book, except not as goofy and hopefully better.
I have a friend who loves Nixon more than anybody else in the world, so I'm writing for him:
Richard Nixon Zombie Slayer
And I just finished the prologue. Thoughts?
Text will follow.

>>1938127

I bought that at my local used book store today. Fucking love used books. $1.50 for a book, alright.jpg.

Also picked up The Hound of the Baskervilles and Seize the Day.

What do I read first?!

WIN
so much muthafuckin win

Think of a celebrity, historical figure or fictional character. Any will do.

Now, write a short erotic story about them having sex with Richard Nixon Bonus points for rape

President Nixon laughed manically, but still Tao Lin did not wake. Keiko was terrified. She was helplessly wet between her legs, though, and Nixon's sturdy quaker penis bobbed in frustration. And it looked so....manly. Rugged. Ten inches of ropy veiny republican manmeat.

"Kissinger once said power was the ultimate aphrodisiac, Keiko," said President Nixon in his characteristic gravelly mumble. "Would you agree? Like our covert 1971 carpet-bombing of neutral Cambodia. That kept you slopes safe from the Red Menace, didn't it? And it certainly made MY tricky dick stand up and salute the flag!"

He waggled his oversized ropy veiny reactionary penis in her face, dickslapping her across the Oriental eyefolds.

Keiko nodded wordlessly and leaned back, pulling her moist pink labia open to show President Nixon her open willing cunt.

"You're not a Jew, Keiko, are you?" said Nixon, suddenly paranoid. "I mean, I know you're a Jap, but there's a lot of motherfucking Jews on my enemies list. Woodward and Bernstein, Lowenstein, Davidoff. I just want to make sure a pretty little piece of submissive geisha sushi isn't another god- damned Jew."

Okay, here's some experiments.

I put in an excerpt from "Six Crises" by President Richard M Nixon. Apparently, he writes like HP Lovecraft.

I put in the opening paragraphs of "The Crying of Lot 49" by Thomas Pynchon. He would be amazed to hear that he, too, writes like HP Lovecraft.

I put in an excerpt from "The Turn of the Screw" by Henry James. Apparently, he writes like Ray Bradbury.

I put in an excerpt from "Murphy" by Samuel Beckett. He writes like James Joyce (which is actually accurate, it's a deliberately Joycean book).

But obviously it recognizes actual text by actual authors. I put in the opening of "Love and Freindship" by Jane Austen, and it knew it was Jane Austen.

Longest standing Federal Constitutional Republic

Manifest Destiny

Neo-Conservatism

The assembly line

to name a few

Hey OP

That is the book we used in our Origins of Current World Conflicts class.

It was pretty solid.

Fine, I'll be the nice guy to offer advise.

I would go with 1984 and explore how their shifting media coverage of which nation they are at war with compares to modern news coverage of events. Basically, the government in 1984 issues changing reports to shift public opinion. Is our government today doing much the same by utilizing media outlets such as MSNBC or FOX News? If not, is it in fact the private citizens (through their patterns of news consumption) who are deluding themselves?

Keiko slowly reached her hand up along Kenji's smooth, muscular chest, until her fingers reached his nipple. She pinched it lightly between thumb and forefinger, and listened with satisfaction as Kenji moaned pleasurably in his sleep.

Keiko felt herself becoming deliciously wet at the thought of what else she might do to Kenji as he slept.

Then she realized a figure was silhouetted in the doorway. Hunched shoulders, a cheap polyester suit...then a familiar gravelly voice spoke the words:

"Is Richard Milhous Nixon gonna hafta choke a bitch?"

Keiko sat up and covered her pert nubile breasts with a towel, as she realized President Nixon had discovered her illicit liaison with this sleeping boy.

"Don't stop, Slanty-eyes," said President Nixon, slipping out of his cheap suit and revealing a 10-inch erection and a hairy sagging body that was covered all over with lurid and obscene jailhouse tattoos.

Keiko gasped at the size of President Nixon's cock.

"So what's first," said Nixon, grabbing Keiko by the nape of her neck and pulling her face into his fragrant scrotum. "Shall I assfuck you while I fist your sleeping friend, or vice versa?"