/lit/ - Literature

>>15035889
I ended up posting this seen form a Touhou fan book I'm writing on /jp/ when I sad "/lit/ here." They seem interested so I'm wondering what non weebs think.

For context, Reimu (a shinto priestess) is visiting a vampire to answer a classified ad to model for a panting.
"Master Flandre, you have a visitor."

I see a wing with rainbow colored crystals creep into the door frame followed by the rest of Flandre meekly peeking into the room. After a brief look at me she walks towards me and says "Ego veni ut qui de dictione. Im 'non est aliquis relevari scio."
"Master Flandre, miss Hakure doesn't understand English. You have to speak to her in Japanese."
What are thay saying? Is this English?
"I am sorry, I forgot."
I think Flandre's Japanese has has somehow gotten worse since I've last seen her.
"I happy to see you. I was scared about who would come."
"Master Flandre, if that would be all I will be geting back to work now."
"I will be fine. Reimu can't be one of the wolf people."
"Sakuya, whats this about. . ." before I could finish my question I realized Sakuya had disappeared, leaving me alone with a mentally unstable yokai.
"About what?" Flandre asks
". . .wolf people." I say finishing my sentese.
"You not know? Thay foreigners that turn into wolf monsters. I was afraid my model could be one."
"Aren't you a foreigner?" I ask Flandre.
"No, I live inside the manner. You came form outside, so you are a foreigner."
I almost correct her, but I know it's a wast of time. Youkai are always doing and saying things that don't make sense. I'm better off changing the subject. Just now I noest that a part of the carpet is a defiant shade of red.
"Who's blood is that?"
"My blood."
"You're blood?"
"Yes. It my blood."
"And why would YOUR blood be on the floor?"
"To let the pain out. It was supposed to be little cut but I see the bleedings and I got. . . excited. . ."
Flandre looks at her blood stands and breathes heavily.
"It pretty how it ooze and drip and splat."

>>15041760
I love how you gradually reveled a Ranma like plot and gave the reader a good image of the state of your character.