/lit/ - Literature

>>23133687
Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.

>>23031318
I had been reading a lot of philosophy in my late teens to about 21 years old. It was a mix of metaphysics, politics etc. By that time I had reached 21 I was already virulently anti-Enlightenment, liberalism etc. My metaphysics and ethics were Schopenahauerian. Whilst I was still an atheist, I understood the importance of religiosity in society and its role in providing fixed axioms independent of the whims of the human mind. In retrospect all of these circumstances were obviously fertile grounds for my own religiosity. I then began a very difficult period in my life wherein my morality and goals in life began conflicting significantly with my friends. Whilst I wasn't religious, I still held to more classical morality especially in terms of senses of duty and obligation, male-female relationships, expectations from life etc. Again, I'd say this was informed by an ascetic ideal that I came from my philosophy. I was also going through a number of other things at the time which made me, for the first time since my youth, cry out to God for help. The point being that I was placed at a crossroads in how I decided to live the rest of my life.

Around the same time I stumbled across Fr Seraphim Roses' "Nihilism: The Root of the Revolution of the Modern Age." The book deeply resonated with me as it aligned with a lot of conclusions that I had already come to about modernity. But given he was talking about these things from an Eastern Orthodox perspective, I was enticed to learn more about that given that I found it interesting how such a belief system might lead someone to such conclusions. I then started reading Orthodox theology, Holy Scripture and about the lives of the Saints and found that questions that I didn't know I had were being answered and that holes in my heart were being filled that I previously believed to me insurmountable.

It was all a perfect storm of personal circumstances and intellectual endeavours marrying up for the first time in my life. I think there needs to be a movement of both the heart and the intellect for these big changes in your life. If the heart moves alone, we get start running around the circles until the next shiny thing crosses our path. If the intellect moves alone, with enough time we can convince ourselves of anything. Above else Divine intervention is necessary. Many miracles occurred around that time and afterwards which also showed without a shadow of a doubt the Divine Hand that was moving and arranging things in my life. I'd say now that my life is actually harder but it is also much better. There is much beauty in the ascetic struggle and denying oneself for Christ's sake. I face great temptations but I trust that the consolations in this life or in the one to come will be even greater.

>>22554828
St Maximos the Confessor
>On the Cosmic Mystery of Jesus Christ
St Isaac the Syrian
>Ascetical Homilies
St Gregory of Nyssa
>Life of Moses
St Porphyrios
>Wounded by Love
St Paisios
>Spiritual Counsels (all volumes)
St Justin Popovich
>Orthodox Faith and Life in Christ
St John of Kronstadt
>My Life in Christ