/lit/ - Literature

I've been writing fanfic for a year now, and while I enjoyed it, I really want to move on to writing original work. The problem is that when I sit down and write something original, it just seems not as good as the world/characters that I wrote fanfic of.

How do I fix this?

Any books that will help me to see the good in people?

>reset shit, too lazy to put adblock again
>get hentai ads all the time right here on 4chan (hadn't looked at porn or masturbated in 6+ months)
>one day click out of curiosity
>get sent down spiral of hentai and porn, slowly, through the weeks builds up to the point of old habits
Goddamnit. Now how do I purify my mind again? Fuck. I don't want to masturbate after all this time, I made a vow to God. What do I do? It's the fucking ads' fault. GODDAMNIT. AAAAH. Help, talk to me. What do I do? Uugh

>spent all day browsing /lit/ instead of reading again
How do I break the cycle?

>>14467714
>was supposed to read book today
>spent all day browsing /lit/ instead
What happened? This was supposed to be the year I finally change. Goddamnit, so much wasted time. How the fuck do I fix this?

>submit my literature for constructive criticism
>get told the same thing every time
>'youve got style but youve got no voice'
>google 'voice'
>'it's how you sound when you tell your story'
>beginning to believe I am literally an NPC incapable of writing

When you don't have enough money to eat and the thought of buying books leisurely without concern for finances seems as distant as winning the lottery.

>>13465635
I wish apprenticeships and indentured servitude still existed. The only viable "career" for want of a better word for some is military or priesthood. If you have no money, no support system, and cannot afford further education, it is very easy to get stuck in life. I should be able to go to medical school for instance in exchange for working for a hospital or practice for a several years at lower salary.

will teh bhavagad gita snap me out of my depression and if not what book will? and for the christ fags are there any bible books that will help?

Imagine having enough money to go on vacation. Seems like a pipe dream to even fantasize about for me.

No career or job is coming through for me. I might be able to live with a relative where jobs would actually be accessible without a vehicle. Menial jobs still. I've just about given up on the good ones just like my old friends gave up on me after I was unemployed for over a year. I keep going. All is grace. I used to have big dreams. Now making enough to have my own roof over my head and eating 3 decent meals without worrying about money all the time is all I look forward to. Not posting anything else tonight so watch out for imitators trying to pretend to be me to get money out of you.

>>13297424
I never could afford it either, so buying has never been an option for me before either. Still never stole.

Everyone I know speaks of moments of serendipity and coincidence and retrospectively appraising elements of events aligning at precisely at the right time to make it all possible. I never experienced any of these. It has always been a big let down for me with fortunate occurances. I never had pleasant moments of bumping into someone. Never had a job lined up. Never had a situation where I said "I am glad that didn't come through because y happened". Much of my life has been wasted from elements beyond my control. Hard talks from everyone but no help. The writings of church father and Augustine have been of much consultation but I'll be honest with all of you. I don't believe in God. The blessed Henry Suso remarked, 'Suffering draws men closer to God whether they like it or not". That seems like the ultimate conclusion of this journey. I still want to persue my dreams but as I age and stagnate people take me less and less seriously. Has the rough road been placed there for me leading to some place all along? The rationalist and skeptic in me wants to say no. A mere cope. But if it is destiny, and I could be swayed to belief in God and truly practice the faith, I would unhesitantly embark on becoming a priest. This has been a rough life, one of poverty, pain and misfortune. It would seem most fitting of a place for these experiences to be extracted into counsel. I feel even if I did come around to belief, I would still insist 'not your will Lord but mine' with respects to the trajectory of my life and station in it.

>>13205212
I appreciate your help but I'm already painfully aware. It's too late for me to ever build it. I can't even get a job at this point and my student loans are in default so I can't go back to school. I keep hoping things will change but they aren't. Geographic mobility doesn't exist either. I've tried with employers in states that ban credit checks on employees (8 and NYC) but they lose all interest when they realize I don't live there and most don't even do paid relocation these days so even if I did get an offer, I wouldn't be able to live for two weeks at least. At this point, there is nothing else for me but to become a priest. Failed MEPS for military. Failed DOT health exam for trucking. Hard labor jobs never come through. Menial retail jobs provide fumes and are cruel to work toward set goals especially with student loans docking the few dollars I have left. So it seems like priest is all that's left for me. If that doesn't work, I plan to just file for and live off SSI.

Sleep; and if life was bitter to thee, pardon,
If sweet, give thanks; thou hast no more to live;
And to give thanks is good, and to forgive.
Out of the mystic and the mournful garden
Where all day through thine hands in barren braid
Wove the sick flowers of secrecy and shade,
Green buds of sorrow and sin, and remnants grey,
Sweet-smelling, pale with poison, sanguine-hearted,
Passions that sprang from sleep and thoughts that started,
Shall death not bring us all as thee one day
Among the days departed?

>Hal Incandenza, though he has no idea yet of why his father really put his head in a specially-dickied microwave in the Year of the Trial-Size Dove Bar, is pretty sure that it wasn’t because of standard U.S. anhedonia. Hal himself hasn’t had a bona fide intensity-of-interior-life-type emotion since he was tiny; he finds terms like joie and value to be like so many variables in rarified equations, and he can manipulate them well enough to satisfy everyone but himself that he’s in there, inside his own hull, as a human being—but in fact he’s far more robotic than John Wayne. One of his troubles with his Moms is the fact that Avril Incandenza believes she knows him inside and out as a human being, and an internally worthy one at that, when in fact inside Hal there’s pretty much nothing at all, he knows. His Moms Avril hears her own echoes inside him and thinks what she hears is him, and this makes Hal feel the one thing he feels to the limit, lately; he is lonely.

it's international poetry day, lads.
post your recent work

>fell in love with a booktuber

>fell in love with another booktuber again

Existential crisis kicking in as of late
What is it all for? What is my personal life good for? It feels like at some point after high school my life took a tumble off a cliff and I've been falling further and further down since. I have no stimulation, nothing makes me feel good. Jobless, friendless, gfless. The only vestige of something to do is school, which is fine when semester is in, but during the breaks I can feel myself whither away when I'm not distracted.

I have no meaning. How many more times do I have to make a friend only for them to leave my life within a year? How many more times can I attempt relations with a girl only for it to end poorly? Like these past few weeks, went out on a few dates with a classmate, paid for everything, had a seemingly good time, she said she did, said she was interested in me, said we should hangout this weekend and she'd text me when she was free, yet she hasn't made any contact. How many more times do I have to go through something like that? Why did she agree to go out with me in the first place? Why did she say she was interested in me and what not if she wasn't

>go on 2 dates with girl
>have good time, like her
>at end of second date ask her what she's feeling about it all
>says she likes me and is interested but she got out of a long relationship not too long ago and wasn't really looking for anything
>oh
Goddammit, goddammmmmit. I understand her reasoning and everything but goddammit. She asked about hanging out despite that and I said yeah but I'm not sure if it's not possible it'll develop into anything.
I'm probably gonna text her soon and tell her that I like her a lot and understand her standpoint, but if she has interest and such and would think about taking things slow and considering it that way.

>didn't read again today

>tfw too tired to read

>had a short story published in an extremely obscure online magazine
>tfw in retrospect it's the most "incel" story I have ever read
>tfw extremely embarrassed by it
>tfw googling my name now brings it up as one of the top results
>tfw my artistic legacy is already marred
>tfw I will never make it now because I'll always be "that pretentious incel" writer