/lit/ - Literature

I lost a game of chess to a girl. It was strange, I did not think it was going to bother me, but it does. It actually stings a little. I can not recall ever feeling like this before and I think that it might be because I have never lost to a girl properly before. I feel humiliated, like my pride has taken a huge blow as well as my ego. What suprises me is the fact that I am bothered by it. I have lost plenty of times before to fellows such as myself, I did not think that losing to a girl would feel any different. I was wrong, and shocked by the difference. I do not consider myself good at chess and it was not even a competetive match, yet I feel so frustrated and disheartened to lose to a girl that is 3 or 4 years younger than me. I wonder why? Why do I feel this way? It is just a game! So why? Maybe it is because my nephew was watching and went "wow anon is so cool" mere seconds before I lost. It is almost as if I let him down, he seemed to have a high opinion of me or atleast thought of me as "the cool uncle" and now that image of me might be shattered. What's more is that I feel like having a rematch would be difficult for me. Because if I lose I will humiliate myself even more, but if I win I will just be back on zero again, I would just have evened it out and it would not bring me any satisfaction. Speaking of satisfaction, she probably does not feel much from or got anything out of winning. She has most likely forgotten about it while I am here still tasting the bitterness of defeat! The funny thing is I would probably be in her shoes if I won, not thinking much of it, yet she would not think much of it either if she lost. I do not know why I feel like this, but this feeling will probably fade soon. Perhaps I'm being a little overdramatic about this. Although, I wonder I'm a sexist or something for not being able to stand the feeling of losing to a girl?