/lit/ - Literature

Love is natural and real, but not for you.

Criticize my story line

A young girl who leads a completely normal life one day gets a brain injury that lets her see into her own future, like an out of body experience.
She sees herself living a good, bright future and is very happy. Back in the present she discovers that she can peek into the future at will, and uses it to see the future of her friends. However. she finds out that one of her friends will get brutally murdered and the first act revolves around her using her powers to prevent this from happening.
She seemingly succeeds but later it is revealed that all her efforts are for nothing. Desperately trying to find an answer she sees too far into the future and arrives to her last day, as a cancer patient. The second act of the story focuses on her despair as she tries to saver herself from her future, slowly finding out that all the people around her are going to experience inescapable tragedies. Time passes and she eventually arrives to the first future she saw, instead of being the bright and shinny future she had first seen, she lives an unfulfilled life surrounded by tragedy and the ever-present knowledge of her own terrible demise.
The third act revolves around her life coming apart. All the tragedies she foresaw become reality as she finally realizes all she could do was look into the future but she never had any chance to change any of the events that occurred in her life.Time keeps moving forward, moving her closer to her death. She lives her days with the people she loves, drowning in melancholy and doing her best to enjoy life. The story ends a long time before she gets cancer and a long time before her last day of life, when she finally gives up on seeing the future.
Of course there's a lot of details I skipped over, but that's basically the story. It started out as an Azumanga Daioh fanfic.

>>15614410
i like frogs