/lit/ - Literature

The holy, life-giving bypass

>>13327682
NOTE: pamplemousse is no longer FUNNY, blood sucking east coast cum dumpster (gay male best friend) scummy gum hair glub nubs no longer drink la croix and instead enjoy the appropriately flavored waspy lemon-lime-wasp flavored perrier sparkling water with tinier, ecofriendlier bubbles. this is because in the future, hard crunchy food has been replaced with mega efficient insect "bug" farms and the upper middle class feeds almost exclusively on bugs or "chocolate syrup" derived from bug excrement, while red meat has been revealed to be the primary cause of diabetes (this is actually true) and is force fed to low iq "morons" knowingly by the government eugenics department under the guise of "intelligence boosting high protein genius superfood". the problem with drinking sparkling wasp water is the rare 1/58264 "shiny pokemon" chance of swallowing a live wasp that miraculously flew the microgrid laser gauntlet and survived. most of the time these chance encounters are fine, but in the rare case that the wasp makes it to the stomach lining before being immulsified by acid, that little guy has one chance with his stinger to "titty fuck" your abdominal wall. weak constitution (women and undesirable minorities) who have not been weeded out in government mass incarceration programs or through selective "peanut allergy" early birth vaccine conditioning may find themselves in a bit of a pickle as the wasp makes his (figuratively HIS with their wasp penii/stinger) way through your colon cervix lungs lymphs and bladder, causing blood and shit to pour from eyes ears and mouth while likely inducing mental "prostate" endless orgasms (this whole last bit is just for fans of fight club and uber moron fucknoids who kept reading)