/lit/ - Literature

>>22586872
>just 20 miles now from [redacted].
you stole my idea, I'll sue
But in all seriousness, your prose works but the story seems like a pretty simple and straightforward "disillusionment at the horrors of war" plot like Come & See (1979), only I don't feel it does enough to build up the protagonist's misguided war optimism before his bro comes in and gives him a reality check. All he does is imply to his mother that he's going to enlist.
In other words, this feels rushed.