/lit/ - Literature

>Struggle immensely to write 10k words because everything just feels like filler
>Read some of my favourite authors and they can write 10k words where things are happening constantly and at a good pace
>See some useless fanfiction writers able to shit out 100k words on the most obscure shit
>Struggle to write 5k word essays on topics I am honest to God near expert in because I literally can't feel justified in expanding points I feel are self-evident or pointless to expand upon
>Favourite essayists can rattle off 8k where it seems they just explain a simple point multiple times.
Why am I so retarded lads? I read Junger's "On Pain" and thought to myself to write an essay on something I feel passionate about and couldn't even break 300 words on the introduction before I felt like I was struggling to write more words that seemed useful. I can't even fill a journal entry beyond a hundred words or so what the fuck is my problem? I always got good grades on my essays in college but never reached the wordcount except on very rare occasions and usually finished 750/1000 words below it. How the fuck do I get over this block where I feel like anything I say is pointless filler (even though it definitely is)? I read history books where the author can spend a full page of 400 words describing an incident of a soldier losing a leg to an artillary shell that would take me at most if I was being descriptive a hundred words and it fucking baffles me.

>>21609983
>>21609952
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgdS5HYgaGk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CryZCP6BpO4

>>21465959
Real answers only please

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CryZCP6BpO4

What are you reading on Friday night?

I'm on my second beer and can't decide whether to finish Hamlet, or finish the second half of Emperor and Galilean by Ibsen. I liked the first half but I don't see where it's going. It's interesting commentary on late paganism but Julian seems more like a pathetic figure than a tragic figure. Maybe the second half will make more sense.

i need some pussx

I'm just trying to stay single for the rest of my life since I've done it for it's entirety so far. I'm 24 and I wasted my youth shitposting with an ever-changing small group of buddies. The last close female friend I had was in 8th grade and despite the pain it has caused mt over the years, I've come to terms with the fact that I'll never see her again. I just want freedom from this animalistic urge to breed.


I've tried taking my Catholic faith more seriously, but that hit a rock so now I'm just trying to read because I'm starting to realize I might make a self-fulfilling prophecy true if I go down that route. It also makes me pissed at God for making me so autistic and expecting me to be happy with rubbing my face in the dirt. I don't want that. I'm clearly not meant to be a priest or religious since I know I don't feel especially called to it, but at the same time I hate the idea of erotic love and I don't want it in my life. I can love all men as brothers and sisters of Christ and I can love my friends and family, but I can't love a woman, despite being attracted to them. It's just too much to ask from me. I guess that's why I'm so addicted to pornography and masturbation: you get the high of sexual release without the feeling of love attached to it, but even then it feels empty after the deed is done and that just makes me regret my degenerate behavior. The next best thing is taking Stoicism more seriously and just giving up the pretense of giving a shit about the Church because deep down I do care and cherish my relationship with God and my love of the Church, but I'm not willing to fall into anything approaching a trap, which is what romantic love is to me. To all the Catholic (and I guess Orthobros) anons out there, are there any good recommendations on any books to read or things to do to get rid of this feeling? I'm so conflicted right now it hurts. I'd rather follow a simulacrum of the "Truth" if that means I won't have to deal with that one part of me I hate the most.

but my dreams, they aren't as empty
as gondola seems to be

>>12102592
so how did he change so much

>book