/lit/ - Literature

>>13843946
That's the long and short of it. Some facts omitted, some distorted. In the end, I find it hard to refute the pessimists. Life is best experienced from a distance. Misery is all around, and for all my whining I've escaped relatively unharmed compared to most of the people I know. If I'm smart enough to quite while I'm ahead, to keep my head down and avoid commitments. Happiness is inside me, I tell myself this because I've seen enough of life to realize it won't be found anywhere else.

Now I'm comfortable. I'm attending a small community college in a different state. I study as many languages as I have classes available, and history, and read literature in my free time. I will start work at a nearby bar soon, which will allow me to fund my studies and have the bare minimum of social interaction required for sanity. Beyond this I hold my breath for nothing. What would "enjoying life" accomplish? Melancholy, a constant chasing of desires without cessation or end.

I'm not particularly athletic, or charming, or sexually desirable, what I have is my books and my mind, and not even access to a middle-tier university where I could put those skills to use. So I read and write and bide my time. If life can be pleasantly ignored till the end, that is perhaps the best fate man can hope for.

I don't know if you read my story or not. It doesn't matter. It was nice to type it all out. Nobody knows these things about me, just bits and pieces. Most of myself I keep to myself. Now I can return to being nothing. Maybe someone will read this and find some wisdom in it. Maybe it was an enjoyable story. All of it is lies, invented on the spot. Now I'm tired. I'll sleep. Tomorrow I'll be someone new, someone fresh, but I'll still be reading and I'll still be writing.

>>13640349
Hunger by Knut Hamsun