/lit/ - Literature

I've been trying to figure out what I want to ask you for quite some time now and I'm still not really sure. I read your Lasch, Fisher, analytics, Spengler, Marx, Land, whatever.
Since the start of this year 8 months ago I've felt my mind rewiring itself, it started with me experiencing objects as their entirety, an example is when I talk with people I can't keep myself away from thinking about their blood vessels, bones, sight and more importantly their point of reference or rather their interpreted substructure they've made inside a compiled overall superstructure for themselves, which leaves me experiencing some people as merely an extension of Netflix, naming one influencing corporation. A mass manufactured snow-globe became an entire process of self referencing industrialisation in my mind. My university building turned into a body just as much as a human has a body, and I a body component of the universities body when I am in it and because of roads I am always connected to it like a moving macrophage in a human body.
More simply, instead of seeing a green tree I see a teleology from the code of a seed in the right environment to make it to the process.
I haven't said much just yet but I wanted to show my current frame of thinking.
So because of this, what came next for me was watching a clock, I felt a point between numbers become a process of endless infinitesimals moving deeper until a reference in reality was met forcing it into discretion. On top of that the clock, or its view of time rather is in an artificial numeral system made by man but it seems that almost all just don't think of the clock as an object of itself but just an unbiased thing in the superstructure that they interpret. Epiphanies like this just keep revealing themselves.
The reason I'm posting this here is because I can't seem to talk about this with anyone no matter how hard I try, whether other engineering students, teachers or just random friends, because as I said they all seem to be in interpreted substructures and just can't hear me. My last hope was my very scientific dad but when we got to religion and I spoke for the catholic natural philosophers he just got angry with me and left calling Aquinas an authoritarian? Because since he was like 26 he seems to have existed in Russell's teapot which is just nonsensical considering the paradox of set theory only happens in an abstract math world yet this logic of the teapot gets to be applied to reality? Garbage, both the analogy and the paradox, it just seems to cause mental rot to me.
With the recent political fire in the western world and all noise surrounding covid I've just felt that the epiphanies I've been shown this year seem to all be proving themselves by induction in front of me.