/lit/ - Literature

Dr. Matthew C. Harris is a genius.

For me, it's Matthew Harris.

The story goes like this: a nigga is born into the white man's world. Raised on ricecake propaganda he falls in love with elf blondhead princess ZELDA. For years he searches Hyrule for his blondhead princess but is tricked at every turn by camel-blooded shekel-loving kikes: wearing the skin of crackers, they force him into spending his holidays reading HEGEL. While the nigga's mind deteriorates, his lust for Zelda does not, and his frustration manifests as chronic pornography consumption. After 5 years, a hegel-induced psychosis mindjacks the nigga as his solipsistic quest for pointy-ear pussy locks into overdrive. Escaping the Duke plantation, he fails to woo a 60 year old Stanford interviewer, kills DFW, and begins his Hajj to the Mecca of blondheads: California. But upon his arrival he is assaulted by fake peroxide blondheads—nigger-blooded wops, ginnys, smelly greeks, nachochuckers, and albino desert-demon kikes who drop shekels out of their backs when you fuck 'em. In a word, pseudo-crackers. Dodging fake blondhead pussy like it's the covidroll chink plague, he finally finds his Zelda: a 35 year-old student in his class. He attempts to invite her to coffee, but she declines; his second mating display—emailing her his own porn—also fails to win her heart. But nigger-ganondorf's attempts to steal the blondhead princess haven't gone unnoticed: the kikes and crackers close ranks and emit till his ass out of the university. Expelled to Boulder, Colorado, deprived of elf cunny, the 29 year-old Dr. Matthew C. Harris realizes that a nigger is alone in the world. And the only way to rescue ZELDA is the extermination of all non-nigger races, starting with the faculty at UCLA.

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