/lit/ - Literature

>>15948178
How many times did he ride the toaster coaster?
Also, pic related

>>15914689
>popper
I'm sure such creature has no biases built into its solution to this 'paradox'

Here is a draft to a short story I wrote. I was going to publish it on Smashwords but I don't want it traceable back to me in any way, shape, or form. Anyhow, there are probably spelling and grammatical errors that I just do not care to correct. Well, here you go

Жид and the Oven Dodgers:
A Tale of Pure Coincidence

The Early Years (Pt. 1)

The year was 1993. Bergstein sat in its car. The day was not altogether ‘hot’— it was, so to speak, perfectly acceptable. Bergstein was sitting outside of the bank branch that its father had recently opened. It was sweating. There was a noticeable lack of foreskins at breakfast a few hours ago. Perhaps that was the reason.
Well, the windows were rolled down and it fingered through the radio stations.
“There ain’t no oven big enough,
There ain’t no oven hot enough,
To cook that many j-”

“…new Reltih oven by Floda. Now available at yo-”

“And I will always cook you,
My darling you-”

“...here, dear goy, have a lampshade,
You’re gonna go far, you’re gonna sieg high,
You’re never gonna die,
You’re gonna cook ‘em if you try,
They’re-”

It sighed and turned the radio off. It was waiting for its acquaintance, Enoch Feldstein, the band’s drummer. Feldstein came out of the bank having just secured a position with Bergstein’s father. It got into the car.
“Well, how’d it go?” Bergstein asked.
“Eh, he’s giving me a hundred a year.”
They drove off. The beach-side boulevard was bustling and both kept a mental count of how many of the passing buildings were owned by each of their families.
“How about a band?” Bergstein asked.
“What about one?”
“You know; do you want to start one? The radio is really shitty and that needs to change. For the better, of course.”
“Of course. Well, I can call up my uncle and get us hooked up with a studio, producer, the whole gig. Probably get an album out by next month.”
“A month?” It pondered this length of time, imagining how much more suffering it would have to endure in that time. “No sooner?”
“Oy, come on. A month? That’s not fast enough? Well, let’s talk to him first.” Feldstein gave Bergstein directions to its uncle’s house.