/lit/ - Literature

>>12325921
Do not forget the love wind carries my friend. For as long as leaves whisper and the clouds are steady in their transit she is there for you.

>>11941312
I’m working on a poem that has been a concept in my mind for a couple of years since my recovery. Constructive criticism on this ramble is welcomed:

Do not forget the love wind carries my friend, for as long as leaves whisper and the clouds are steady in their transit, she is there for you. When I was young, the world made me very old. I’d pat the dog and grab my keys. I’d climb in the car to find my destiny. To train tracks, a bridge, to something, I’d go.

Every time I made the same mistake. She’d pound on the glass, begging me to let her in, stronger and fiercer the closer I got. Every time I would listen. I’d roll down the windows.

Up through my hair and across my face she’d wander, cradling, knowing, whispering in my ears one soft and powerful gentle word.

Stay

If for no one else, I am here for you. For in every tilting blade of grass you are there for me. You, oh glorious aspect of my world, who flies in the sky, who knows the subtleties of my heart, I adore you.

>>11942643
I wrote this recently but it’s still rough as fuck and I need critiques. I hate sticking to a single structure so it’s just sort of a ramble:

Do not forget the love that wind carries my friend, for as long as the clouds are steady in their transit, she is there for you. When I was young, the world made me very old. I’d pat the dog and grab my keys, I’d climb in the car to find my destiny. To train tracks, a bridge, to something, I’d go.

Every time I made the same mistake. She’d pound on my windshield, begging me to let her in, fiercer and fiercer the closer I got. Every time I would obey. I’d roll down the windows.

Up through my hair and across my face she’d wander, cradling, caressing me, whispering in my ear one soft and powerful gentle word.
Stay

If for no one else, I am here for you. For in every tilting blade of grass you are here for me. You, oh glorious aspect of my world, who flies in the sky and knows the subtleties of my heart, I love you.