/lit/ - Literature

What do I need to learn in order to speak as elegantly as Orson Welles?

>>13612233
Forgot pic

>>11250487
This was funny in this insidious jet black way, if that's what you intended.
>>11249505
This is the sorta poem that can only exist, and work, on 4chan, it's really cheesy and referential in the most sleazy way. Would work well in a /mu/ thread.

DEATH HATES CHESS:

What is it with this idea of Death as a Chessplayer?
He hates the bloody thing:
so much mono
rerouting turns,
and logic trifles
with each player's strategising
begging their patience -
to think?!
No, he'd ram the board away and curtly whisper
"I terminate."
"Kings or Queens or Pawns be damned"
"In fact, I'm damning, fuck all them."
He'd take that mawed out toothpick
and pollock in your pupil yolks:
Flick
Flick
Prick
Prick
Of course he'd sigh along the business
keeping the dust firm to rest you
then don overcoat and swagger off
"Business ain't chess yunno."

And business sure as hell ain't cheap

we forget, Death the silver tongue,
having so many to curate.

He's all for word games though, in fact
crosswords are his peak pleasures

But not to fill in, no, to cut out
all those black bits
and ruin it.

Death, you dirty dog.
We can't all claim your bottoms up IQ
except you with those slitted eyes
Keening so gently
to see loss. He reels news sheets and bludgeons me:
"Don't play me kid, I'm still your boss."