/lit/ - Literature

>>19672090
>>19672127
>>19672147
>>19672163
you guys see that is all pop ya behind her right? If she was not hot you would call her a retarded woman like all the others, you disgust me

A few days ago I came up with a character concept for an epic fantasy and wrote a sort of 'prologue' detailing that character's motivation. It is 1.5k and I wrote it in about an hour and haven't seen it since, so it probably has some mistakes. I won't be working in this project for some time since I haven't developed it much, and I already have another novel in the works. Still, I want some crit since English is not my native language, and if the concept is good enough to catch people's attention.

Here's the link:
https://docdro.id/Ibw5EYN

A few days ago I came up with a character concept for an epic fantasy and wrote a sort of 'prologue' detailing that character's motivation. It is 1.5k and I wrote it in about an hour and haven't seen it since, so it probably has some mistakes. I won't be working in this project for some time since I haven't developed it much, and I already have another novel in the works. Still, I want some crit since English is not my native language, and if the concept is good enough to catch people's attention.

Here's the link:
https://docdro.id/Ibw5EYN

>>15325513
I don't know enough about poetry to do a good enough crit of this, but I think it is pretty good. So what I could take from this is that the two stanzas are from the two different points of view. Perhaps you could 'enhance' it by adding more parallelism between the two (parallelism in structure so they sort of mirror each other). Again, I know too little of poetry to provide good advice, so you do you.
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Yesterday I came up with a character concept for an epic fantasy and wrote a sort of 'prologue' detailing that character's motivation. It is 1.5k and I wrote it in about an hour, so it probably has some mistakes. I won't be working in this project for some time since I haven't developed it much, and I already have another novel in the works. Still, I want some crit since English is not my native language, and if the concept is good enough to catch people's attention.

Here's the link:
https://docdro.id/Ibw5EYN