/lit/ - Literature

I've been having really long dreams lately. One's that feel like they last an entire life time. It's honestly exhausting in a weird way, even though I'm sleeping at the time. You wake up and in your mind it's like you've just lived a whole other life.

I've had three relationships blow up quite spectacularly over the past year. I told myself I would take a break from women to allow my mind and heart to rest. But it's barely been a week and the past few nights I've been dreaming of hooking up with an old friend of mine who I know recently became single. I can't stop thinking about women.

Covid has destroyed my social life, confidence, and given me an unhealthy coping mechanism - as someone who previously had a healthy social life and was a "normie" it has crushed me.

I haven't had meaningful social contact with anyone aside from my significant other (who I live with) for over a year now, as my close friends live several hours away, my family in a different country, and the few friends that I managed to make at uni opted to do remote learning from home this year.

I'm currently drinking two bottles of whiskey a week - my SO thinks it's only one and is chastising me over the amount when she only knows half the story.

By the grace of God I am high functioning as of right now, and will likely finish the last year of my undergrad without hiccups but am beginning to feel the encroaching and invasive (thinking about a drink at 10:30am) thoughts of alcohol dependency.