/lit/ - Literature

EDITOR-SAMAAA! Come back and save us from the Unreal brotherhood’s coordinated doxxing efforts!

EDITOR SAMAAAAAAAAAAA

>>20754937
You know what that reminds me of? When people write "no pun intended." Yes if you were speaking and you caught the unintended pun then I forgive you but you wrote all that out, saw the pun, wrote that you noticed the pun and have the audacity to claim you didn't intend it. Remove the pun or don't even mention that you noticed it. It's as clumsy and myopic as redditors who put /s to be crystal clear of their sarcasm because they're too afraid of someone thinking they weren't being sarcastic. Isn't part of the fun of sarcasm having the chance to poke fun at people who get roped in by it?

>>20580250
I haven't read that one yet but I do like Wgon's writing, it has soul. I will say that if I mess with spelling at all I change a word into another and sometimes try to wave a flag subtly to help the reader understand it was intentional and not a mistake. I have an ESL character say "fill your hand" like "fall your hand." The character she talks to looks puzzled for a moment when she says this but he eventually gets used to her crazy grammar that he just runs with it. While changing most of the words to match the sounds can be neat I like to change words like that to give another meaning to statements. In the case of the ESL character, she ruins the man she talks to and I tend to do Adam and Eve allusions to just about every relationship in a story so "fall" seemed appropriate.

>>19798613
>get told Joyce is boring
>get told Faulkner is boring
>find out McCarthy was influenced by Joyce while reading Blood Meridian
>read Sound and the Fury and can't put it down, hear Joyce also had great stream of consciousness and practically made it famous
I bet Joyce must be awesome, should be getting Ulysses sometime this year.

I actually just finished reading this today. The vocabulary and detail that went into the setting makes me think McCarthy didn't just read a lot of history on this time, he referenced a lot of other things too. I made marginal notes on the prose which captivated me at times. The entire narrative itself feels kinda segmented where atrocities are committed often without consequence, but I wouldn't call it random. Character development seemed de-emphasized to demonstrate the immutable aspect of human nature: that man would do anything. Whether it be alone or only possible through conspiracy, if man can imagine it, man will achieve it. We see this with all the judge's mastered talents and depths of his depravity.
>What man would not be a dancer if he could, said the judge. It's a great thing, to dance.
Therein is the most awful and devilish thing about us. To me this made sense of Tobin's last pleas to the kid, to shoot Judge Holden when he had an opportunity. To kill the judge would be a kind of refutation of the Judge's philosophy. Yet the kid couldn't stop the judge, he could only call him crazy.

>>19245889
>>19245681
>>19245668
>>19245666
shooting for limbs here but, would you consider this to be anime writing?
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1A7xDXOgqMkbx1dOQOrFNDWVB5PRaOa0XauO3hLuXRmI/edit

>edited passages over 2000 words so far this morning
>second draft now easier to read and becoming more consistent
>still have 8 hours left
I finally starting to have fun again, I want to write like this every day. If I keep this up for a few months into the 3rd draft it's gonna look preddy gud.

>>19098834
Just read the English chap 1&2. Here are some of my thoughts.
>not fond of first line being dialogue, it's vague and disorienting.
>didn't notice anything abnormal in the first paragraph that would immediately answer the question at the intro so the hook feels weak
I would use the first line to call attention to suffering and routine nature (maybe even hint at the inciting incident or ending), use the first paragraph to explain and then you can juxtapose it with the calm juxtaposition with nature, which gives rise to your narrator's question and answer. The ugliness of our condition just doesn't seem to fit in what the rest of the world looks like. I'd also save some of the naval gazing after more concrete challenges to the protagonist has been established; it is abstract for quite a while, so symbolism can do well to express these feelings without telling us directly.
>unwitting conversation with the other
I thought this was cool, I also thought he was thinking to himself
>Suddenly, absolute silence.
Ironically words like "suddenly" slow the reader down, so it feels sudden. Careful with your use of that.
>&~#&/!*^}\?#@
I don't find this effective at making something feel incomprehensible, it looks like a mistake. If he had comprehended it, you can just explain that he heard an unfamiliar language, but he understood it to mean the same as "What's this all supposed to be?" Think the 1st Pentecost in the Bible's book of Acts if you're familiar with that. Also kind of expected one of the characters to be more afraid of what was going on, but maybe that doesn't have to happen, up to you.
>you have the determination to make it possible
I find this hard to believe at least for the protagonist, though I don't know much about his background he doesn't seem to be that proactive. Maybe someone broken down is just the "nihilist" that this guy was looking for, that's what came to my mind. Perhaps the protagonist should ask this question to himself.
>end of chapter 2 is sick and twisted because the voice wants the 6 to build a society based on their ideals WITHOUT free-will. How many of the 6 actually care about free-will unlike this voice? This constraint is horrifying.
>general observation on dialogue sounding similar between the characters
Maybe give each character different vocabulary, average sentence length, I think the 6 characters have a bit of distinctive attitude but that's it.
I'm not asking you to rewrite your novel if you're ready to publish it, but for future writing I would add more literary devices and line-by-line wordsmithing in the final drafts to give it a literary feel if you are tackling what you believe to be a serious, adult issue. In English I feel like I'm reading Young Adult. I will keep reading it though, I'm interested to see what the 6 figures will do, how they differ and which ones will form alliances, and which will try to upend this sick game.

>>19085191
>it didn't give off the rambling mindlessness vibe that I was going for
oops
but yeah thanks for reading, very appreciated