/lit/ - Literature

>>18574616
First poster.
I've developed a mental block when dealing with anxiety and when taking decisions and a tendency to run away, back to the comfort zone. I don't know what happens, my mind goes blank and it is taken my these thoghts and images telling me how much I'm gonna fuck everything up or that my choice is wrong and everything will go wrong and so forth.
This caused my many problems, such as having a really hard time applying to jobs because all I can think of is how I'm going to fuck it all up, be unable to do something or do some dumb mistake and be embarassed in front of everyone or beign a virgin because I never had the courage to ask any girl out.
What put me in this deeper state of depressed is failing both college and some interviews for intership at the same time because of this. I had to send a proposal of a graduaton thesis and get a professor to advise me, but I just couldn't do it. All I could think of is that the email was trash, my ideas dumb and that I wouldn't make it and would be a huge failure exposed to everyone.
I don't know if I'm immature or if I'm fucked up in the head. I hate to admit to myself that I'm a coward, but that's it.
It was good to write this, I feel more relieved sharing this embarassment.