/lit/ - Literature

>thought I was.a smart boi
>Actually a midwif with adhd
Books that can help me to cope with this fact

How to improve scientific writing or writing in general?

>>12480349
>Just imagine, your life passing before your eyes, your late teens and twenties just one long maelstrom of frogposters and shitty memes, punctuated by that one short and shallow laugh this place forces out of your throat once or twice a month.
Haha.... Yeah... Imagine that...

>woke up at 8.45 am after not very good sleep
>read a history book
>went out to buy coffee and a mini junk food binge
>drank coffee and only had some of the junk food because I ate so much at burger king yesterday
>continued reading while feeling so fucking tired at 1 pm
>finished book and then somehow got a rush of energy to go to the gym and exercise for the first time in two or three days
>lifting all goes well, which was unexpected because I'm so tired
>have gone in to central London and have walked around and I'm not at the library
>will soon drink coffee and I feel like walking around or exercising again

I am running out of money because of the binges. I never save anything.

I didn't wear contact lenses to the gym which was lucky because there were two loud GigaStaceys.

I have finished the book so I will now leave reading for night time. It is a consumercuck activity and nothing more. Literary culture disgusts me. Not people who read for fun, I mean pseudo intellectuals who pretend that books are useful or who say that they are filled with "meaning and deep profound transcendental ideas, bro".

>woke up
>drank coffee and read a book
>did chores
>went jogging (first exercise in three days)
>went in to central London on a cloudy day
>spent a long time in a library
>now sitting but not drinking coffee

I actually really like reading the posts by Londonfrog. Anyone got any links to archived Londonfrog threads?
>also, how do you guys deal with feelings of pseudness?
Everyone thinks I'm well read and intelligent, as I used to spend a lot of time reading growing up, but now I'm really just another brianlet. How do I become the person people think I am?

>woke up at 7.30 am after only 3 to 5 hours of sleep because I had lots of coffee
>read the idiot to finish it for the pseud cred and can only read about 15 pages before stopping to drink coffee and browse the internet
>spend the entire day drinking coffee and browsing the internet in my flat postponing jogging or productive activities
>read more of the idiot and have around 30 pages left
>threw the coffee in the bin
>went in to central London, walked around, am in the library
>will have coffee and then junk food or McDonalds

Londonfrog here, not gonna lie, it's demoralising watching myself crash and burn. But I can't let myself get the hands on the McDonalds codes!

I simply cannot continue forcing myself to read boring shit after the idiot, no matter what the pseud cred. I have done it too much. My attention span isn't even dead. I thought war and peace was great. I am not irritated by walking or waiting or driving without any stimulation like podcasts or browsing my phone. But reading boring books is negative, not a neutral process. And I see boredom as an intellectual emotion. I am just an oversocialised cuck.

I want to give up coffee (so I get good sleep and stop being weak in the gym) and be productive but I have memed myself in to thinking that ANY productivity system or target setting is a spook that makes me cucked. I organise thing when needed but any attempt to make myself a life algorithm makes me feel like a failure. I will try to give up coffee on almost every day but only "unofficially".

Maybe I'll give up the idiot with 30 pages to spit in the face of the pseuds. I have seen multiple interesting books in the library just now

>woke up at 10 am
>drank coffee and browsed internet
>started reading the idiot again just to finish it for the pseud cred (not sure whether I should or not; finishing a book I don't like could make me a cuck, I'm not sure)
>after many months of procrastination I updated my diary desu (not a day to day one, it goes over events since 18 at a high level) and made a backup of various writings
>went to the gym and was weaker than expected; will have to try and give up coffee or else remain forever weak
>went to central London on a hot and sunny day and walked about
>went to the library and read a book
>now drinking coffee

I want to change my life and stop drinking coffee and start doing productive stuff in my free time (diary was a good start) but I don't want to set myself rules. I hate all structure.

>woke up at 10 am
>drank coffee and browsed internet
>started reading the idiot again just to finish it for the pseud cred (not sure whether I should or not; finishing a book I don't like could make me a cuck, I'm not sure)
>after many months of procrastination I updated my diary desu (not a day to day one, it goes over events since 18 at a high level) and made a backup of various writings
>currently at the gym; feeling weaker than expected but I'm restarting a routine today so I am on track to be strong if I stop ruining my sleep

>woke up at 10 am
>browsed internet
>drank coffee and read a book in flat
>went jogging on a very hot and sunny day in London and then stretched
>went for a walk
>went to library and read a book
>walked around more and have seen enough Staceys and GigaStaceys during rush hour to demoralise me for a month
>now drinking coffee outside while wondering how to trick myself in to doing productive stuff in my free time while knowing that having to trick myself is a sign of failure and I should just do things

The days after pay day where I can binge anytime I want are quite good.

>woke up at 10.30 am
>drank coffee in flat while reading
>went to gym
>coffee had harmed my sleep but I just about managed to do the workout (I'm not even as strong as 9 months ago, when I was improving well but nowhere near as strong as 18 months ago)
>throw away the coffee I had at home
>brushing my teeth and feel seized with a vision of terror at my life when I'll actually have to work a job that requires me to stay in the office from 9 to 5 plus commute
>go in to central London on a hot and sunny day
>see lots of office Staceys, which makes me feel demoralised
>go to library and read a Bret Easton Ellis book
>currently drinking coffee in central London at 8.30 pm to feel less alone
>too late to bother with fast food; will buy junk food that I'll eat at home while deluding myself in to thinking I'll give up coffee tomorrow

I was at the library and saw lots of history books that I wanted to have had read.

>woke up at 10.30 am
>browsing internet while drinking coffee
>plan to go to gym but not sure what else
>will probably go to one of the famous landmarks that I haven't been to for a while
>will probably borrow a few books
>will probably waste my evening but hopefully not

>woke up at 10.30 am after 8 hours of sleep despite drinking coffee and binging on junk food last night
>drank coffee and read a book
>went jogging
>went in to central London on a hot and sunny day and walked about
>went to a library
>read some of a Bret Easton Ellis novel I hadn't read for years and felt sad that I'm not a rich Chad who aimlessly wanders around New York or Los Angeles with high level nihilistic ennui
>drankcoffee as the office Chads and Staceys were everywhere; a literal group of chads and Staceys sat near me, which was demoralising
>ate a lot of food at burger king
>feel like I am now over my McDonalds / burger king / junk food phase but I am writing this while feeling stuffed
>went back to flat, will browse internet, then read, then sleep

>woke up at 10.30 am after 8 hours of sleep despite drinking coffee and binging on junk food last night
>drank coffee and read a book
>went jogging
>went in to central London on a hot and sunny day and walked about
>went to a library

I may go to McDonalds or burger king later today

>decided to eat and read for a few more hours before going to the gym

>yesterday was of no significance: read, drank coffee, had a small binge, browsed internet, did no exercise
>woke up today after 8 hours of sleep at 8.30 am
>bought coffee for flat
>plan to read, clean room, exercise, don't know what else

I bought the coffee just now so I saw droves of wagecucks walking on the street. It was kind of spooky. Even when I go to and from work it is after and before the rush hours.

This may temporary but I think I may be finally at peace with the idea of having no life philosophy, from a minute to minute perspective. I would torture myself over whether to read for 30 minutes or 2 hours or as long as possible, and whether to read one or more books at once. I know this stupid bullshit but it still used to torture me.

After having coffee in central London I went to Mcdonalds and ate a lot but it didn't really live up to the hype. I think I am officially over fast food, though I may definitely crave it later.

>woke up at 9 am (binged on junk food last night (not a ridiculous amount) and despite no coffee it still ruined my sleep)
>felt too tired to go to the gym and my back was still sore
>finish reading a book
>drink coffee in flat while browsing internet on phone
>do lower back stretches which felt incredible and my back feels much better
>go in to central London on a sunny and low 20s temperature day, which feels cool after days of 30 degree weather
>go walking and browse a library
>feel demoralised after seeing Staceys, even though there's a noticeable decline in them because their numbers are a function of the temperature
>politicians are on holiday so there's no more Brexit news for me to obsess over; the emptiness of my life is even more stark
>make a list of stuff I should start (maths, programming, multiple books, writing etc) so I do productive stuff and feel more interesting and like I have stuff happening in my life
>genuinely feel like my life will improve due to the list but I've had coffee delusion almost all day so who knows
>currently drinking coffee
>unsure how I'll spend the evening

I have written some great troll topics in the past week.

>woke up at 8.30 am
>browsed internet and eaten food until 11 am
>will read and then go to the gym

>woke up at 9.30 am after over 9 hours of caffeine free sleep
>feeling slightly shitty and tired but in a good way, like the sleep and lack of caffeine has exposed how bad I was before
>browsing internet in my flat while drinking coffee I just bought (will read soon)
>plan to go to the gym today (for consistency of exercise, not because I can lift a lot) and then walk around central London
>plan to have coffee for just 3 more days before I stop it to get my strength back
>won't go in to work today but that goes without saying, it's Friday lol

I'm currently googling "I was a loser in high school" but I'm unable to sympathise with any of the stories. They're all normies with lives on easy mode.

>spent all of yesterday reading, then watching tennis, then reading
>spent all of today up to now (7 pm) reading, then watching tennis, and now going outside to walk around and maybe have coffee
>not sure what I'll do; already drank coffee in flat today
>haven't had junk food today or yesterday

>woke up at 9:45 am and browsed internet for an hour in bed
>will drink coffee and read a new book
>won't go in to work today

>woke up at 9 am
>browsed internet on phone
>got out of bed and felt less motivated than I could ever imagine (also tired)
>somehow go jogging
>go to work for first time in a week
>nothing to do, leave immediately
>buy food from shop, just barely avoid buying junk food but buy coffee
>eat a small amount of food at home (because I have binged for many days in a row)
>drink coffee and browse internet for hours
>wasted time and will sleep badly but at least I didn't binge and the coffee made me more optimistic

>wake up at 9 am
>read an enjoyable book
>go jogging
>feel really clean after the shower, as if sweating due to jogging cleansed my skin like a sauna
>read more of the book
>now going in to central London on an extremely hot and sunny day to drink coffee, walk around, feel sad about life, and maybe go to McDonalds