/lit/ - Literature

I come from a computer science background, but I am very interested in philosophy. I love reading about Nietzsche's ideas, on Wikipedia and other places, for example, but I find it very hard to read actual Nietzsche. I just prefer simple declarative sentences, rather than the poetic or otherwise elaborite styles he sometimes uses... any suggestions for a person like me? I generally don't like reading stuff that is written in an "older" style, it just does not capture my attention in the same way. Any more modern philosophers who might be easier to read? Is it enough to just read summaries of what philosophers said? Thank you

I woke up one day and farted. Then I got out of bed and walked downstairs, where my white wife and children were eating breakfast.
“Good fart,” I said.
“Thank you for that fart,” said my youngest daughter, Emily.
“Melony… Melony, what’s wrong?” My wife looked disturbed.
“Haven’t you heard the news?” she flubbered. “The top scientists are reporting that, in the future, anal sex will be even more taboo, because we will all have these devices shoved up our asses, which make it so that farts–
“Honey, honey, calm down. I’m sure it’s not as big of a deal as you think it is.”
“No! No, I’m serious!”
I sat down at the table, frowned and sighed. Then I stood up, opened up the refridgerator and poured myself a bowl of cereal and milk. In some order. You figure it out.
“Honey!”
“Honey, stop it. Stop it, honey-bunney.”
“Will you guys stop it with that faggot shit?” said my son Jeremy.
“Fuck you,” I said. He farted and got out of his chair.
“When did I say you could leave the table!” I shouted. He stomped up the stairs, farting with each step he took. “I don’t know what’s gotten into that son of ours,” I said.
“Our son? He’s your son!” my wife shouted.
“You whore,” I said. Then I stood up and walked out the door. As I got into my car and buckled my seatbelt, I remembered that I had forgotten to shower, eat, or brush my teeth that morning. Oh well. I put the car into Drive, eventually, after I backed out of the driveway.
“It’s going to be a long day,” I said.

At work, my boss farted at me. Then I sat down at my cubicle, logged onto my computer, and began reading the news. There was a story about how North Koreans were being farted on in labor camps.
“You know,” my boss said as he approached my cube. I quickly reached for the power button on my computer and held it down for a long time until the computer shut off completely. “I think those North Koreans are onto something,” he continued.
“Uh huh,” I said. I released the power button, waited two seconds, and then pressed it again. My computer began to restart.
“What were you looking at on your computer?” he asked.
“Nothing.”
“It seems like you didn’t want me to see what you were looking at.”
“It’s nothing,” I said.
“Good,” he said. “You better not do anything.” Then he left.
When my computer started up again I logged onto my Yahoo! account. Yahoo! news was reporting that there might be an upcoming fart shortage.
“Well I’ll be damned,” I said.
I decided to get up and walk around the office. I started farting on random people.
“Hey!” one of the employees said. “That was uncalled for!” I didn’t even turn around. I just pulled down my pants and took a shit on the floor. Then I kept walking. “Ewww!” I could hear him scream in the distance.

to be continued...

That picture creeps me out.

>1. How many physical albums/vinyls/cassettes/etc. do you have?
200

>2. How much music do you have in terms of MB/GB?
127gb

>3. How many movies do you have on VCR?
0

>4. How many movies do you have on DVD or blu-ray?
0

>5. How many movies do you have in digital form?
0

>6. How many paperbacks do you have?
50

>7. How many hardbacks do you have?
Like, 2

>8. How many e-books do you have?
0