/lit/ - Literature

Heres a thing I wrote a few months ago, though the idea was floating around in my head for a while. I want to extend it out but I dont really have any ideas where to take it from here that is interesting. I've left it basically untouched since December.

>>14701488
I like this. A bit edgy but still captures the feeling quite well. I like the contrast between "castle high" and "computer screen", but i would like more. Theres lots of imagery and feelings that make me feel like im in "olden times" but only one line that sets me in the present. I feel like more references to the present would concrete this contrast.
>>14703052
I really love the prose here but I have no idea whats going on. Why is there milk. Maybe I'm just missing context. Are the inside someone? Something?