/lit/ - Literature

Ive built a connection with this girl in ukraine over the past couple months through voice chats and messages everyday, but i cant get over the fact that shes slept with 3 dudes. Idk if we are even in a relationship or not but im 20, 21 in april, and am socially autistic so this is the first time Ive ever talked to a girl for more than a single day.

Anyways this makes me worried for the future, if i ever do get into a relationship is this just something ill never get past? Im a virgin myself, in me in a just 2 conflicting beliefs because on one hand i feel like its just sex and shouldnt matter, but in the other i also feel its something sacred i dont fucking know.

Even if i decided to do something like wait till marriage or try to find another girl virgin, at my age it it just seems fucking impossible, I was talking to a friend, he told me about two other friends that are girls we both knew, one slept with 20 dudes, the other around 12. maybe i should go to church again or convert to islam i dont fucking know.

It makes me angry that i care so much because personality wise this ukranian girl is pretty nice and shes really into me asking how i am and how my day was, genuinely she likes me , but i would never consider anything long term despite all her perfections. She says she has high standards, so why shave casual sex? Idk why i place so much fucking value on it, i feel like i should resolve this somehow but i don't know how. Maybe i should pray